Those Martins

Those of us who have kids realize how much they change our lives. Those of you who don’t have kids don’t really appreciate the full impact of the change.

Let me give you an example.

This weekend we visited Minneapolis. We didn’t really have a particular reason for going. We just wanted to get out of town now that the weather was nicer. We could have gone anywhere. Chicago and Milwaukee would have also been good destinations.

We picked Minneapolis because John Piper pastors there, at Bethlehem Baptist Church. I’ve benefitted quite a bit from his books and sermons and I wanted to see what his church was like.

Bethlehem’s main campus is the downtown campus. We decided to attend the Saturday night service. We also decided to stay at a downtown hotel. Since the weather was nice, we thought it would be fun to walk to and from the service.

The evening service ended around 7:30p. We hadn’t eaten dinner before the service, so we needed to eat. It was a 30 minute walk from the church back to our hotel. We figured that we could grab something to eat on the way back. After all, we were downtown. There are stores and restaurants galore in any downtown area.

Well, we were right. There were lots of restaurants downtown. We passed at least one on every block. But, well, they were all bad. Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure the food and service were excellent. But they were no longer appropriate. All of the restaurants were very relaxed, cultured places. The kind of place where you can sit outside, order some drinks, order some food, and enjoy the evening. The kind of place where the staff will leave you in peace to enjoy your evening.

In other words, the worst possible place to take an active 2 year old. 2 year old kids have no interest in sitting quietly and reflecting on the world. They have about a 10-20 minute interest in food. They’ll wait for food — for a short time. They’ll eat quietly — for a short time. They’ll sit quietly at the table after dinner — very rarely.

When you have a 2 year old, leaving you alone is the last thing you want your wait staff to do. You want them to take your order quickly. You want them to bring your food quickly. You want them to bring the check and take your payment quickly. You want to have the option of getting in, eating, and getting out very quickly. For a toddler, fast food is the best kind of food. It moves at their speed and suits their attention span.

So, as a parent of a toddler, downtown Minneapolis was not teeming with choices and options. It was a barren wasteland. We thought it completely devoid of life until we finally spotted the perfect place: a Pizza Hut Express inside of a Target.

Jackpot! We had our food 5 minutes after entering the door. We ate and left within another 15 minutes. When toddlers are involved, suburbia — with its miles of fast food and chain restaurants — is the perfect place to be. Downtown — with its gourmet restaurants and lazy bistros — is the worst possible place to be.

Four years ago, I wouldn’t have agreed with that statement. Four years ago, I didn’t have a toddler. My life has changed dramatically and I didn’t fully realize it until I spent an hour wandering around downtown Minneapolis, looking for food.