If your family is a burden, feel free to dump them. We’d like some guests.
When we moved to Wisconsin, we knew it would be tough. Our closest relatives are 9 hours away. The next closest are 12 hours away. This makes it somewhat difficult to spend our holidays with relatives. Christmas is occasionally doable, but Thanksgiving and Easter are generally right out.
I was used to this growing up. I grew up in Norfolk, a naval town. I lived 8-12 hours away from most of my extended family there too. But it was different. Growing up, 90% of the people we knew also had family living 8-80 hours away. On holidays, everyone would get together and celebrate with their extended “family”. It was the very rare Thanksgiving or Christmas that didn’t see us getting together with friends. I never felt lonely on the holidays.
Here, in Wisconsin, we frequently feel lonely. Most of our friends fit into one of two categories.
Their family lives either right in town or just a few hours away. Consequently, they’re always spending holiday time with their families.
They have no children, so it’s pretty easy to jet home for the holiday. Consequently, they’re almost always spending holiday time with their families.
While my circumstances haven’t really changed since I grew up, my circle of friends definitely has. The end result is that we rarely spend time with our families for the holidays and we rarely have any friends free and in-town to spend the holidays with. I’m having trouble coping with the slimmed down holidays. It’s even worse for my wife. She grew up as one of the people in category #1. She always got together with her entire extended family for holidays. Now she’s trying to adjust to not having family around. It’s not easy. But we want to be clear that we don’t blame our friends for their blessings. We’re genuinely happy that they get to enjoy time with their families for the holidays. It really is a treat to be able to do that.
But I would like to mention something that does perturb me.
My wife recently heard some people complaining about family being the worst part of the holidays. To these people, I have one simple request: shut up. Please. I’m getting angry and disgusted listening to you whining about what a burden your family is. If your family is such a burden, please tell them to stay home. Then, free from their burdensome company, feel free to come over to our house for Thanksgiving. We’d love the company. Until then, you should realize that starving people don’t really understand why you’re complaining about the quality of the turbaconducken.